DISCLAIM-HER (She accepted the software, but never read the DISCLAIMER)


Ben Iyoha

Disclaim-Her is the story of a girl who thought she was loved until someday she was rejected by the same one she loved. Why would he disclaim-her? Isn’t he the same person who swarmed her with his presence, charm, love and promises? She had lived to cherish his presence; his breath upon her face is like fresh breeze from the ocean wave. But little did she know that PROMISE is not a verb, LOVE is only a word and even SEX ends with EX. when it is time he’ll disclaim her.


Disclaim-Her is also the story of a girl who had a clue and saw the sign that she was rounded up by a sham, a man whose heart she can never own but yet she believed in her own lies.


She looks off and clicks ‘’ACCEPT’’ just like a software licensing agreement, we never get to read the content where there’s often a disclaimer. We are always eager to get into the ware; to enjoy its goodies and services but within always lay clauses and causes.


The irony is, before a “Disclaim-Her” situation theres always a Disclaimer. Hey Ladies, the wrong man will always be embedded with lies, crude acts and a false personality and will always give off warning signs but we ignore reading between the lines before we click the tab “ACCEPT”.   But one can’t completely rue a woman’s negligence after all she’s human and not perfect but notwithstanding she could be smart enough to decipher some basic facts be it before a relationship or marriage.


Before I unravel some hidden conditions in a man’s software licensing agreement to which you click accept to all the time I’ll prior talk about some basic mistakes of the woman.


DISCUSSING PROMISE: Any woman who sits a man down to ask for his pledge not to let her down is doing this because she technically knows he has the possibility of letting her down, so why go on with him? This is the million dollar question no one can answer, because 99% of the time the man will give you his words, pledge and even more love because it’s already too late to back out and be seen as a flirt.


BEING CARRIED AWAY: Personally, as a Life Coach I advice ladies to always snoop on the man before she starts to let her guards down. Snooping on him doesn’t mean you go overboard and demanding i.e. prying his phone openly, sneaking around him or visiting him unannounced, NO, the idea is to operate stealthily without giving off any clue. Know his friends, study his movements and lifestyle, watch his demeanor when he see’s other ladies, if you a have a heaven sent opportunity to pry his phone when he's not around, DO SO!. Just study the underneath of him and don’t be carried away.


SYNC BEFORE ROMANCE: Most women make this mistake, if you’ve ever allowed any form of romance/sex come before you define the relationship you may never be his favorite girl. Being carried away by his charm or handsomeness or cash may be the usual suspect for this error.


THE UNATTAINABLE: If George Clooney walks up to you, yes I mean YOU; and he tells you he loves you and wants you to be his girlfriend/wife, would you believe him? Exactly, No… Because he falls under the unattainable, you are not in the same class with Clooney. We often know this kind of men when we meet them, they are only in for the sex or for the fun of what you could offer; but we choose to go all the way to believe in nothing, sometimes we wax spiritual just to have and keep the unattainable man.



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THE DISCLAMER (ALL THE SIGNS SHE MISSED AND MIXED) Yes, you signed up for it without reading it through.


·        RESPECT – From day one I’ll touch you anywhere even in public, because you are my girl and I can do what I like with you.  (A guy who truly love you would be scared to touch you publicly in the beginning)


·        EGO – I have other girls lurking around so if I don’t call you or text you as often know that I’m busy. (Some guys do little to activate the relationship and then you start to build the rest because you have been charmed to the pant)


·        SEX – It’s my style to demand for sex from the very first day or date, I love sex and I can’t do without it. (if his motives are in anyway steering towards sex even without making any concise or deliberate commitment to you then you have in your hands a pants-man)

·        MONEY – I won’t offer you anything, gift or dates, I’m not broke but I don’t just do such to any girl, in fact you could be called up whenever I’m cash trapped. (when it comes to wooing you, he never made any attempt to spend a dime on you, sometimes when he tells you he’s broke you could still see him do some stuff with cash, NOTE: some guys could be truly broke, be able to delineate that)


·        PRIDE – I brag a lot, it’s my way of life and I just do it to feel good (when he begins to say and feel too much of himself, achievement, past, present and future then this is a danger sign that you are just in a wrong hand)


·        SENSUAL – I’m not sensual and sensitive to women; I just live my life as it comes. (What danger could be worse than this, some men are so sensual that when they tell you “Silver or gold I have not but my undying love” you’ll believe it because they have proven it, run from an insensitive man)


·        LUST – It’s always about sex… sex talks, sex motives, sex drive, sex sex sex just oozes around me (Run ma’am, you already know that’s all he’s about.. he's infatuated and in-lust not in love)


·        LACKS HUMOR I lack humor, I won’t guaranty you any form of true friendship and I’m always sad and Nagy (Sometimes, it’s not just the guy who wants to leave, but you who now feel he’s not just what you want, you feel disparaged by his lack of humor and warmth, this is more or less like a venom he emits to turn you off, did you not notice it from day one? some men may make your presence with them boring so as to pass the message that you are not wanted, some may just be naturally so; be critical about this before you give in)


·        CHILDISH – I’m a childish dude, I just act anyhow both at home and in public, I have no word control I just talk anyhow. (Women love to be with guys that can be playful and romantically childish but not with a guy who naturally is plain childish and do not inspire them. You may have noticed all this when he acts timid and say’s things that makes little sense, except you are a cougar there’s no point liking a kid. Age sometimes does not stop some dudes from being childish e.g. a guy who tells his mom almost everything in the marriage of relationship)


·        ABUSIVE – I’m tempestuous, I am a melancholic, and I rage at the slightest provocation (How did you miss the sign that he’ll be physically and verbally abusive? Any guy who is too possessive and tempestuous is generally expected to be abusive. Check for his temperament and how he conducts himself with well known ladies around him like his sisters, mom and nieces. The clues are all inherent here)




It’s a wrap!